by Raleigh Magazine | Mar 28, 2024 | April 2024, Buzz
Ride sharing, yes. Conversation sharing? Hard no.
Dear Uber Drivers,
Please stop talking to me. Sometimes I just want to get in the car and ride in style and silence… without having to carry a conversation with someone I’m never going to see again post-dropoff. Call me harsh, but I don’t want to hear about your kids, your day job or your pipe dreams. And I don’t want to tell you about mine either.
What I do want is a nap—and to be transported from point A to point B in peace, sans the social exhaustion. Mark my words, I might even resort to playing deaf like Elaine did on Seinfeld in order to get my quiet time in (sorry not sorry).
Sure, Uber does indeed offer a “quiet mode” option, but you have to pay for it via riding premium. I’m sorry—I didn’t realize we were putting a price tag on the beauty of silence. … It’s giving consumerism at its finest.
I know, I know. All drivers and riders seek a good rating for the ride—so how about this. I’ll give you five stars just to shut up.
– Silence Is Golden
This rant has been lightly edited for style and space and is not endorsed by Raleigh Magazine. Got a rant or rave? Email it to [email protected] for print consideration.
by Raleigh Magazine | Oct 30, 2023 | Eat
The views expressed in this rant are those of the author and do not purport or reflect the opinions of Raleigh Magazine.
I get it. I have a car and I can drive it, but—like all of us—I’m busy, and sometimes I just need to have my food delivered. I don’t think it’s too much to ask a delivery service whose sole mission is to deliver (looking at you DoorDash) my Jersey Mike’s sandwich a meager 4 miles in less than two hours—if at all… by which time I’m ravenous, annoyed and somehow still subless.
Y’all. It’s a joke how often the delivery driver will just disappear without so much as a message or call (bro, I know your phone is in your hand). Yet, here I continue to shell out delivery fees and tips upfront while my driver bails on my order because they “can’t find me.” Um, do you know how to read an address?
Or if they do “find” me, they just drop my dinner two doors down?! Once, I even ordered Chinese food and they left it at my office rather than my house! (Yes, I confirmed I ordered it to my home address. Don’t @ me.) And nobody wants to chance Chinese takeout after it’s been sitting out unattended on a humid summer night.
Needless to say, DoorDash and I have parted ways, despite the coupons they continue to barrage me with. It’s not worth the drama, the hangryness—and damn sure not worth the delivery fee. Anyone know if Uber Eats is any better?
—Disgruntled Ex-DoorDasher
Got a rant or rave? Email it to [email protected] for consideration.
