Six ways to focus on presence more than presents this holiday season.
It happens every year. The holidays roll around and the calendar fills, the lists grow and we feel less like we’ve celebrated the holidays and more like we’ve been run over by them.
Maybe this is why ‘being more mindful’ has become increasingly popular as a New Year’s resolution. But why wait ’til January? Here are six ways to start practicing mindfulness during the holiday season. Pick a tip or all six and be mindfully merry this year!
Indulge, Mindfully
It’s true, treats and temptations are everywhere. Instead of attempting to abstain, choose to savor. Pick up a favorite chocolate and appreciate the way the light bounces off the wrapper. Unwrap it slowly and inhale. Allow yourself to enjoy the smell of chocolate. Place it on your tongue and let the chocolate melt. Try not to bite it at all, just enjoy. Not only does using more of your senses increase your enjoyment but it will also slow you down … and keep you from eating too many!
Accept Holiday Greetings
Whether you send cards or not, how often do you glance at greetings you receive only to toss them into a pile? We don’t always take the time to appreciate the gesture. Worse still, sometimes we’re tempted to judge the cards we receive—or judge ourselves for not being as ‘good.’ Strive to receive greetings differently this year. With each card that comes in the mail, even if it’s just from your dentist, take a second to hold it. Contemplate the connection that you have with the sender and conjure a moment or memory with them that brings you joy and gratitude.
Give the Present of Presence
When you’re making your Christmas lists of things to buy, create another list of people whose presence fills your bucket. Schedule time to sip coffee with them, walk with them or shop with them. Thank them for their presence and thank yourself for making relationships a priority.
Use Tech to Disconnect
How many times do we have to be told that our phones, though beautiful, useful tools, have increased our predispositions to anxiety and depression? This holiday season, take advantage of apps that help you disconnect. Calm, Moment, Headspace, Aura … the mindful app options are plentiful.
Hone in on Hibernation
While you’re on your phone downloading a mindfulness app, hop on over to Amazon and buy a $10 alarm clock and a morning devotional book. Studies have shown that keeping your phone in your bedroom can mean you may get lower quality sleep. Charge your phone in another room and when your new alarm clock rings, start the day with a morning meditation instead of a social media/email check. Try it for a month, see how differently your days go!
Bake Without Burden
How often is baking accompanied by stress this season? Whether we need to get treats done in time for a party, or we’re trying to feed the whole family, baking isn’t fun when the pressure is packed on. Choose one day and one treat that goes beyond your level of expertise. Have no expectation of finishing with an edible product at the end. Aim for something from “Nailed It,” or “The Great British Bake Off.” Who cares if the flour spills or the fondant looks more offensive than festive; let it be fun! Revisit the wonder of creating something from practically nothing. Reflect on the awesome gift and power of having so many tools and resources at your fingertips. Take that gratitude and joy into the rest of your seasonal baking.
When Dr. David Fajgenbaum was a medical school student, he found himself suddenly and critically on the receiving end of care. Eventually diagnosed with a deadly subtype of Castleman disease, a rare disorder characterized by immune system hyperactivation and attack of vital organs, Fajgenbaum nearly died five times in the span of three years.
Throughout the early stages of his illness, Fajgenbaum witnessed firsthand the shortcomings of the world of biomedical research and he decided to do something about it. His book, “Chasing My Cure,” is the story of how he turned his hope to survive into a mission.
Why did you write “Chasing My Cure”?
It took being on my death bed to learn critical [life] lessons. I wanted to share what I learned about life so [readers] don’t have to wait until [they’re on their death bed] to learn them.
What do you hope people will take away?
Wanting to turn hope into action is the number one thing. If we put our minds to something we can accomplish more than we could ever dream. When I started doing research [on Castleman disease] I never thought I would be on a drug, based on my work, or that my life would be extended by my work. I wouldn’t have thought that was possible, but I wanted to go out swinging. This has made me realize that the impossible, or what seems impossible, is actually possible if you turn your hopes into action.
What role does Raleigh play in your story?
There’s a special culture in Raleigh of being there for one another and a real expectation that we will help one another in times of need. I’ve loved the [several other] places I’ve lived but I don’t think anywhere is there more of a sense of “we should be there for one another during tough times” than there is in Raleigh.
You co-founded the Castleman Disease Collaborative Network to pave the way for a cure. How does that work extend to other rare diseases?
I hope it will motivate others to think about what we call the “collaborative network approach.” Rather than hoping for a researcher—somewhere—to come up with a right solution, it’s about building a community of physicians, researchers, and patients and harnessing that community to identify the right solutions. There are 1,500 drugs that are already FDA-approved for about 2,500 diseases. But there are another 7,000 diseases that don’t have a single FDA-approved drug. How many more drugs that were developed for one thing may be life-saving drugs or cures for one of those 7,000 that don’t have any solutions right now? (Editor’s note: Fajgenbaum is currently healthy due to a drug not originally used or approved for treating Castleman). We need to continue to develop new drugs, but we also need to think about how we can leverage existing drugs that are already available.
Your book touches on humor and faith. Did these help you stay strong through the hardest times?
It’s critical when you’re dealing with difficult life experiences to have a strong support system. Is it, literally, your sisters and your dad holding your hand? Is it faith and belief in God being there to support you and help you through? I don’t know if it’s as recognized, but the power of humor and trying to find positivity in dark times can be a source of strength as well—at the very least, a coping mechanism. For me, it was a combination of all three. It’s important for anyone dealing with life’s challenges to find those supportive resources that speak to you. None of us can get through tough times alone.
You’ll be speaking at Quail Ridge Books on September 15. Given your connection to Raleigh, how much does that mean to you?
It means so much to me for many reasons. Quail Ridge Books is right next door to my sister Gena’s clothing store, Gena Chandler. Gena and my other sister, Lisa, and my dad have been rocks in my life. They’ve been so supportive for me. They never left my side while I was sick. And they still haven’t left my side.
I turn to them every day for advice and support so it’s really special that it’s in Raleigh. It’s also special because Raleigh has this really important place in my heart. I live in Philadelphia—[it] is my new home, but when I think about my home, I think about Raleigh.
In the book, you discuss how your own uncle also received treatment from repurposing a drug. How is his health now?
Yes, I share about my Uncle Michael’s experience with his diagnosis with Angiosarcoma. His doctor [told] him that there were two options and neither would keep him alive for over a year.
It was actually a Raleigh doctor, a friend of my uncle, who was willing to put in the order to have this additional testing done which then identified a bio-marker for a drug [that was not approved for this cancer]. We tried it on him and he’s doing incredibly well. He’s still doing well in remission and it’s been over two and a half years and his doctors told him he’d have a year to live at the most.
Speaking of your family, the name Dr. Fajgenbaum sounds very familiar…
My dad and uncle are both orthopedists in Raleigh so there are lots of hips and knees walking around in Raleigh operated on by a Fajgenbaum.
How is your health?
My health is really good. July 5 [2019] marked exactly five and a half years since the last time I was in the hospital. In my first three and a half years, I had five life threatening…frightening episodes. Now it’s been five and a half years without any and I’m so grateful for that.
One thing I wanted to mention that’s not in the book, it’s in the acknowledgments section, but it’s a sobering piece of my journey. A couple years ago, right around the time my Uncle Michael was diagnosed, my brother-in-law was diagnosed with ALS. [It] is an awful disease and he’s been battling it so heroically. So what pushes me every day is to think far beyond me and my experience. [Yes], this is about Castleman Disease [but it’s also about] rare disease more broadly. What can I do as I fight and push for research for Castleman to also help others who are fighting rare diseases to create tools and research environments so diseases like ALS get answers more quickly.
I’m constantly reminded and think all the time, “yes, we’ve made progress for me and yes, for some other Castleman patients. But we’ve got a lot more work to do.”
Fajgenbaum will be at Quail Ridge Bookstore at 2 p.m. for a special book signing event. For more information, visit quailridgebooks.com.
A body has been found in downtown Raleigh. It’s a murder-mystery too confounding for the Raleigh Police Department. Only you, your closest friends, and maybe your kids and dogs can solve the mystery. Oh, and don’t forget your fedora, because in this mystery, style is rewarded.
If this sounds like your cup of tea, then CluedUpp, the newest game craze out of the UK, may be for you. CluedUpp is a virtual murder-mystery gaming event that’s played via a smartphone app. On August 17, it’s coming to Raleigh for the first time and teams of up to six people are invited to participate in the day-long adventure to track down virtual witnesses and crack the case.
In other words, imagine playing the board game Clue with an interactive app similar to Pokemon-Go; add in a team atmosphere, plenty of British accents and wit, wrap it all in fancy dress and you’ve got CluedUpp.
The game’s current storyline, “Sneaky Finders,” is inspired by the BBC hit drama series “Peaky Blinders,” an epic gangster drama set in the 1920s Birmingham (England, not Alabama). Teams who compete in the Raleigh adventure are encouraged to dress in 1920s costumes. The mystery begins between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. and must be completed before 5pm. Most teams complete the “Sneaky Finders” mystery in between two and three hours.
Founded in 2016 by Tref Griffiths, CluedUpp has become an international phenomenon. More than 50,000 “detectives” played the game across the UK and Ireland in 2018. This year, the app’s owners have made a push to bring their brand of excitement to this side of the pond.
“We’ve held a few events in America now and they are getting a fantastic turnout,” said Griffiths in a press release. “We can’t wait to see if our detectives are up to the challenge of solving our hardest case yet [in Sneaky Finders].”
The company expects more than 100 detective teams to take part in the Raleigh event. That’s potentially 600 people wandering about, dressed in pinstripes and flapper gear, talking in hushed tones and interacting with pretend people. If nothing else, count it as a potentially fantastic day for people-watching.
K-9 Tom Selleck from a past CluedUpp event
At $46 per team, it’s an affordable adventure. Also, the company invites you to bring as many kids and dogs along as you’d like, without any extra charge. All you need is a team of at least two detectives, access to a smartphone (Android or iOS), a sense of adventure and a good grasp of mystery solving.
Encouraged, but not necessary, are clever team names and, of course, exquisite costuming.
Prizes are awarded in six different categories:
Fastest team
Best fancy dress (Sneaky Finders/1920s inspired)
Best team picture
Best team name
Best little detective (kids prize)
Best K-9 detective (dogs prize)
Get your tickets, round up your teams, follow the clues and share your best photos. Who will win the big prizes? And, more importantly, who will solve the mystery?
As for me, I accuse Sir Walter Raleigh at the Belltower with a giant bronze acorn.
Raleigh students take a play that deals with a real-life tragedy to a national stage.
The subject matter is tough, but Sanderson High School students rise to the occasion.
This month, Sanderson’s Honors Theater class will perform “26 Pebbles,” a play about the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, at a national high school theater competition in Knoxville. Sanderson is one of only two Carolina high schools invited to participate at the event and students are raising money to pay for the trip.
The 28 students that comprise the production’s cast and crew won multiple awards at the state level, including accolades in costume design, acting, directing and top overall honors for their performance. Eric Ulloa’s play, published in 2017, is set in Newtown, Connecticut, and is based on interviews the playwright conducted with members of the community following the horrific school shooting, where 20 children and six adults were killed.
Allison Moreau, a junior in the class, plays Carol, a human resources director who had to help identify the child victims of the shooting to their parents. Allison says that, at first, she wasn’t sure about tackling such difficult subject matter, but, once the students did the table reading, she thought, “Wow, this is so powerful.”
The play’s power comes not only from the students’ portrayal of real people, and that their lines are Newtown residents’ actual words, but also from the premise that, when dealing in reality, there are no simple answers.
Allison’s mother, Amy Moreau, admires the play’s ability to show the bigger picture.
“I appreciate how this play doesn’t get political,” Amy says. “In a culture of sound bites, I just really appreciate [that they] are giving a voice to the complexity of the issue.”
Carol, Allison’s character, brings that complexity to life. Carol’s son has schizophrenia, and, when the details emerged about the shooter’s mental health history, many were quick to point to those diagnoses as the “reason” the shooting happened.
“One of Carol’s lines is really powerful to me,” Allison says. “[Carol] says, ‘It wasn’t 26 people who died that day, it was 28,’” referencing that the 26 count doesn’t include Lanza and his mother, who many portrayed as monsters.
Playing a woman who can sympathize with the Lanza family—a hard thing for many to do, to be sure—has been eye-opening, according to Allison.
“I have tried to notice those people who are outsiders at school, and have tried to reach out,” she says. “I’ve learned to admit I don’t know everything that’s going on in a person’s life … or what they go through when they leave school. So it’s really important to be kind.”
Her mother, Amy, says the play also made her consider new perspectives, such as people trying to grieve while media cameras were a constant presence.
“I grieved for them all over again,” Amy says. “I had never thought about that.”
An encore presentation of “26 Pebbles” kicks off Sanderson Theatre’s Cabaret Night February 1 at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $10, and can be purchased at the door or online at shstheatreensemble.weebly.com. Author Mandy Howard donated her payment for this story to Sanderson High School to help facilitate the students’ trip; Raleigh Magazine matched that donation. If you’d like to donate, go to gofundme.com and search SHS Theatre.
From the 1930s to the late 1960s, whether it was an African American family visiting relatives for the holidays or a globally recognized celebrity on a national tour, in an era when “Whites Only” signs were common, people of color were wont to travel with a “Green Book” in hand. “The Negro Motorist Green Book,” or “The Green Book,” was a guide for non-white travelers to move around safely in the deep South during the time of Jim Crow segregation.
Today, when we think of travel guides, we may think of Yelp or Google reviews. How many stars does this hotel have? Does this restaurant have good fries?
But the Green Book wasn’t about reviews or convenience. Instead, in a period of institutionalized division and accepted, open hatred, stopping at the wrong business could mean the difference between life and death for black travelers. The Green Book listed restaurants, gas stations, places of lodging and businesses, arranged by location, that would open their doors to non-whites.
Much of the nation may just be learning about this fragment of history from this year’s Golden Globe Award-winning movie “Green Book,” but Janelle Jennings-Alexander, an English professor at William Peace University, has been researching this topic ever since a small line in the Toni Morrison novel, “Home,” piqued her curiosity.
“It’s just a small, almost throwaway line at the beginning of the novel,” Jennings-Alexander says of a moment in the book where one of the characters helps another out by copying addresses from “Green’s traveler’s books.”
As a literature doctoral student (and huge Morrison fan), Jennings-Alexander says the line stuck out to her mostly because she had never heard of “Green’s’ book.” When she started looking into it nearly four years ago, she realized she wasn’t alone.
“There wasn’t much information, a lot less than there is now,” says Jennings-Alexander. “It’s exciting to see how quickly these conversations have blossomed.”
Uncovering this little-recorded history inspired Jennings-Alexander to create a research project for her students. As she assigned them local addresses from the originally published travel guides, she didn’t give them any background information. She knew they would come back frustrated because they wouldn’t be able to find much information online.
Jennings-Alexander says the project forced her students to learn how to research beyond the internet. She told them, “You’re going to have to go to the actual stacks, maybe talk to a librarian and learn how to pull property records, tax records.”
The students found that many of the places that were once beacons, safe houses, successful businesses and entertainment venues for black travelers no longer exist.
In her research, Jennings-Alexander discovered a website that estimated that more than 97 percent of all “Green Book” sites in North Carolina are no longer in operation, and that almost none have a historical marker or nod to the past of any kind.
It’s a fact that inspired City of Raleigh Museum director Ernest Dollar to highlight these histories.
“Looking at these places on a map and seeing that a lot of these places are gone urges people to say, ‘What other important African American sites are we losing?’” Dollar says. “What else is out there that we need to preserve and capture before these stories are gone?”
This month, the City of Raleigh Museum’s African American History Symposium will share stories that have gone untold for too long, with a presentation from Jennings-Alexander about the progress she and her students have made, and a look at how they will continue their research going forward.
Attendees will learn about Joe Winters, one of Raleigh’s first African American police officers who became a renowned music promoter and coordinated local shows for Duke Ellington, Sarah Vaughan, Ray Charles, Nat King Cole, Chuck Berry, Diana Ross and the Supremes, Aretha Franklin, James Brown and many more.
Jennings-Alexander admits that these conversations can be difficult, but says that rather than seeing them as evidence to indict our past, we should use this knowledge to grow.
“If we can begin to learn from our neighbors, to understand experiences that maybe we just didn’t know about … as a community, we are much stronger for that.”
Jennings-Alexander says the project forced her students to learn how to research beyond the internet. She told them, “You’re going to have to go to the actual stacks, maybe talk to a librarian and learn how to pull property records, tax records.”