This rant has been lightly edited for style and space and is not endorsed by Raleigh Magazine.
I think at this point in time we can all agree that children do not belong at bars—dive bars, cocktail bars, propped up at a restaurant bar or otherwise. And if you’re bringing them to a restaurant, they better be on their best behavior. Read: no leaving food/crumbs everywhere, scream-crying at the top of their lungs or running around the establishment like they’re playing a game of tag at recess.
Clearly it’s a shared sentiment given a Georgia restaurant’s viral fee of $50 for unruly children. But to be quite frank, some adults don’t belong at bars or restaurants either (you know who you are!). So I see that “parent surcharge”—and raise you an “unruly surcharge.”
Think of it as a fee for any general disorderly behavior causing a ruckus and prohibiting others from enjoying a nice night out. Like that dude who’s “sneakily” pulling on his vape in the restaurant and blowing smoke in everyone’s food—you get a fine! We can see you, bro. You’re not fooling anyone!
The mom who’s yelling on the phone at the table next to you and definitely not using her inside voice—you get a fine! Take it outside, ma. Or, idk, maybe just don’t be a Karen.
That group of girls who *literally* scream at the top of their lungs upon seeing each other and break all eardrums in earshot—you all get a fine! Y’all literally probably saw each other the night before. It’s not that deep.
Look, I know this surcharge will likely never happen. But don’t you wish something could be done to wean out those annoying people at whatever bar/restaurant you’re at that ruin the vibe for everyone there? If we can’t fine ’em, we can at least kick them out, right?! Or maybe they’ll read this and realize how absolutely insufferable they all are. #ByeFelicia! —It’s Not FINE!
Raleigh Magazine’s inaugural The Cocktail Classic, presented by The Exchange Raleigh, at Killjoy was the event of the year. Cheers to those who joined us to toast Raleigh and RM’s Bartender of the Year noms as our top 10 ’tenders spun ’tails on riffed classics in tandem with top-tier liquor labels. Now, a glimpse into the spirited affair and the sips we savored throughout the evening… and, since you can’t order them in a bar, your chance to taste them again—or for the first time. Try your hand at shaking up one or all, snap a shot for the ’Gram and tag us. Then, consider this your sign to join us for next year’s spectacular event. It promises to be lit.
Black Epinephrine Created by Zoë Palmer, Fox Liquor Bar Riff on a Penicillin
• 2 oz. Johnnie Walker Black Label Scotch whisky • 1 oz. tea • 1/4 oz. ginger syrup • 1/4 oz. honey syrup • 1/2 oz. lemon juice • 3 dashes tea bitters • 11 dashes Fee Brothers Fee foam (eggless foam alternative) • Sprinkle of salt/sugar
Salt/sugar the side of a coupe glass. Shake and strain all ingredients into the glass and sprinkle top with salt/sugar.
Tequila & Olive Oil Created by Will Bryant, The Parlor at Heights House Riff on a Margarita
• 2 oz. Adictivo Tequila • 1/2 oz. Gran Gala orange liqueur • 1/2 oz. lemon juice • 1/4 oz. tangerine juice • 1/4 oz. agave • Pinch of salt • Drizzle of olive oil • Spring of rosemary for garnish
Add all ingredients to a shaker tin. Add ice and shake for 10 seconds. Strain into a rocks glass and garnish with rosemary sprig.
The New Gold Standard Created by Ian Murray, Foundation Riff on a Gold Rush
• 1 1/2 oz. Cook’s Mill American Straight Bourbon Whiskey • 1/2 oz. chai-infused blended red vermouth* • 3/4 oz. lemon juice • 3/4 oz. lavender-infused honey** • 3 dashes of blended orange bitters*** • 1 pinch salt
Build in a shaker tin. Shake and double strain into an Old-Fashioned glass over 1 cube. Garnish with lemon twist.
*Chai-Infused Blended Red Vermouth • 1:1 Cocchi Storico Vermouth di Torino-to-Dolin Rouge Vermouth ratio infused with Twinings chai tea
**Lavender-Infused Honey • 3:1 honey-to-water ratio steeped with dried lavender buds
PB & Julep Created by Serena Thurston, Dram & Draught Riff on a mint julep
• 2 oz. Woodford Reserve bourbon • 3 oz. strawberry puree* • Peanut butter sweet cream foam** • Mint • Chocolate-covered strawberry • Julep glass (preferably a clear one)
Add strawberry puree to the bottom of the glass. Fill the glass with crushed ice and add Woodford Reserve (or your whiskey of choice). Slowly pour the peanut butter sweet cream foam on top to make a nice thick layer. For garnish, lay a small mint leaf on top, and if you want to up the fun-factor, stick a chocolate-covered strawberry on the glass!
Cut strawberries and add to blender, along with sugar and mint. Blend completely until all big chunks are gone. Once blended, pour puree through a fine strainer to get rid of any seeds (usually takes about 2 strains).
**Peanut Butter Sweet Cream Foam
• 1/2 cup heavy cream • 4 oz. half-and-half • 1 oz. peanut butter or chocolate liqueur • 2 Tbsp. peanut butter powder • ~4 tsp. brown sugar
Combine all ingredients into a shaker and shake for about 20 seconds. After shaking, pour into a blender and set to a medium speed. Blend until consistency is creamy/frothy. Alternatively, if you have an emulsifier you can just mix all of the ingredients in the shaker for 20 seconds or until it’s the consistency you prefer.
Kill Devil Calling Created by Christian Gibbs, The Haymaker Riff on a daiquiri
• 2 oz. vanilla bean-infused Kill Devil rum* • 1 oz. pineapple juice • 3/4 oz. simple syrup • 3/4 oz. lime juice • 1/2 oz. coconut water • 1/2 oz. coconut cream • 1/2 oz. heavy cream • Dehydrated pineapple and/or pineapple leaf (optional for garnish) • Add ingredients to a shaker tin. Add ice and shake. Strain into a Collins glass and garnish with dehydrated pineapple and/or pineapple leaf.
*Vanilla Bean-Infused Kill Devil Rum Take 1 vanilla bean and slice it down the side so the inside is exposed. Add to a bottle of Kill Devil rum. Give it a light shake; then let sit for 6–8 hours. Remove the vanilla bean. Keep the rum sealed and refrigerated.
Clarified Daiquiri Version To make a clarified version, start with 2 mixing vessels. In the first: Mix together the rum, pineapple, simple syrup, lime juice and coconut water. In the second: Mix together the coconut milk and heavy cream. Then pour the rum mixture into the coconut milk/cream mixture. Stir lightly and let sit for 3 hours. While the mixture is curdling, set up a filtration device. A pour-over coffee setup with a coffee filter will work perfectly. Once the mixture has curdled and separated, slowly pour the mixture into the filter. The first 3–4 ounces that drain will have a cloudy look. You can remove that and discard, or add back into your mix to restrain. Keep slowly pouring in, and the mixture will create its own filter. This part is slow but important. Allow it to strain itself and you are left with a clarified cocktail that can be enjoyed over ice. It should taste just like a pineapple daiquiri, but with a silky, sipping texture. To make a large batch, just multiply the amount of each ingredient by how many servings you want.
Back in the Day Created by Connor Cooke, Clockwork Riff on an Old-Fashioned
• 2 oz. Southern Star double rye • 1/2 oz. Nonino amaro • 1/2 oz. cherimoya grapefruit simple syrup • Dash orange bitters
Combine ingredients, stir and pour over a large rock of ice in a rocks glass. Add a dash of orange bitters.
Perfect Blue Created by Clovis LaCour, William & Company A riff on a gin martini
• 2 oz. Conniption Kinship gin • 3/4 oz. acid-adjusted Cocchi Americano Bianco • 3/4 oz. tamarind and lemongrass dry vermouth • 4 drops homemade chile-lemon oil • 1 mint leaf
Stir together the first 3 ingredients and serve up. Garnish with mint leaf and drops of chile-lemon oil.
Miss Charming Created by Ingrid Folkers, Whiskey Kitchen Riff on a cosmopolitan
• 1 1/2 oz. Deep Eddy lemon vodka • 3/4 oz. triple sec • 1/2 oz. lime juice • 1 1/2 oz. raspberry rosé honey syrup* • Orange rose oil**
Add all ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake until diluted. Double strain into a chilled coupe glass. Garnish with dried spring flower petals and a spritz of orange rose oil from an atomizer.
*Raspberry Rosé Honey Syrup • 8 oz. dry rosé (preferably a French rosé consisting of 100% grenache) • 6 oz. raspberries • 8 oz. honey
In a small saucepan, heat the rosé and raspberries on medium heat. Simmer until raspberries lose most of their color. Strain through a fine mesh strainer. Keep the liquid and discard the solids. Return liquid to the saucepan and stir in the honey over low heat. Heat until combined. Remove from heat and allow to cool completely before refrigerating. The syrup should last in the refrigerator for 2 weeks.
**Orange Rose Oil • 50 grams granulated sugar • 50 grams orange peels (be sure to remove as much of the pith as possible) • 1/2 tsp. rose water
In a Tupperware container, combine sugar and orange peels. Let sit at room temperature for 12–24 hours to allow the sugar to extract the oils from the orange peels. Add the rose water and stir to combine. Strain through a fine mesh strainer, discarding the solids. Add the resulting liquid to an atomizer. Keep refrigerated. The orange rose oil should last up to 2 months.
The Honeypie Created by Reese Hailey, Aunty Betty’s Riff on a Tom Collins • 2 oz. Cathead honeysuckle vodka • 3/4 oz. pumpkin pie orgeat • 1/4 oz. honeysuckle syrup • 1/2 oz. lemon juice • Splash of tonic
Mix all ingredients in a shaker tin. Shake and strain into a rocks glass. Top with a splash of tonic and a lemon slice.
White Negroni Created by Kelly Lynch, Watts & Ward Riff on a Negroni • 1 1/2 oz. Sutler’s gin • 1/4 oz. Suze • 1/4 oz. seaweed-infused dry vermouth* • 3/4 oz. chamomile- and cardamom-infused Lillet Blanc**
Add all ingredients to a mixing glass. Add ice and stir for 10 seconds. Strain into a rocks glass with ice.
*Seaweed-Infused Dry Vermouth Add 1 cup of dry vermouth and 3 or 4 small- to medium-size pieces of dried seaweed (nori, kombu or wakame are good options) to a clean airtight Mason jar. Seal tight and let it sit for 24 hours at room temperature. Keep in mind that seaweed can impart a strong flavor, so don’t overinfuse unless you want a very pronounced seaweed taste. Once you’re satisfied with the level of seaweed flavor, strain the infused vermouth through a fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth into a clean bottle. This will remove any bits of seaweed and debris.
**Chamomile- and Cardamom-Infused Lillet Blanc Start by lightly crushing 4–6 cardamom pods to release their flavor (the best way to do this is to use the flat side of a knife). Heat up a small amount of water (about 1/4 cup) to near-boiling and steep the chamomile tea bag for 5–10 minutes to create a concentrated chamomile tea. You want the tea to be stronger than you would drink it because it will dilute when added to the Lillet. Place the crushed cardamom pods and chamomile tea into a clean airtight jar; then add about 1 cup of Lillet Blanc. Seal the container tightly to prevent any air from getting in. Keep your infusion at room temperature, shaking the jar occasionally. Let the mixture infuse for at least 24–48 hours. Taste the Lillet periodically to check the level of flavor. Once you’re satisfied with the infusion, strain the Lillet Blanc through a fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth into a clean bottle. This will remove the cardamom pods and any tea residue.
Hit It and Quit It Blatantly defying the law in the company car? Guilty! Problematic queen and public servant—er, menace?—NC Auditor Beth Wood elected to not face the consequences of her own actions when she banged up a parked vehicle after downing two glasses of wine before blasting away in a state-issued car, thus amassing about $11,000 in fees for repairs to both vehicles. Not to mention the receipts show Wood was (allegedly) whipping her professionally issued ride to not-so-professional appointments—read: Blue Water Spa. Sorry, our NC auditor can’t come to the phone right now… she’s getting a Hydrafacial! Now, big shocker: She’s resigning from the position in December. Call it a dishonorable discharge?
Cars for Clout Like with most fads (see: dance moves, skincare products, etc.), it all started on TikTok. After the self-dubbed “Kia Boyz” teens posted instructional videos on how to break into cars using the likes of a USB cable (really), a string of car thefts left Raleighites wondering, “Dude, where’s my car?” The social media challenge got so bad that Hyundai and Kia—the models specifically targeted in the Toks—agreed to a $200 million class-action lawsuit settlement in May. Grand Theft Auto, meet TikTok-crazed teens.
U-Haul Ass A Garner man went all OJ Simpson a la his infamous 90-minute police pursuit when he led coppers on a 20-mile chase in a U-Haul after fleeing from a hit and run. The trail ended when the U-Haul driver ran a red light and crashed into a truck pulling a trailer, after which he tried to hit and run again before getting detained. Pro tip for the felon: Next time you try to pull a police chase, maybe choose a faster car.
So Garbage Splish splash, your driving is trash. Curbing the Tuesday morning commute, a dump truck driver was ticketed for wrecking havoc and littering the road with trash at the I-40 Gorman Street exchange and closing traffic in both directions. We can think of better ways to get wasted.
Grin and Bear Arms? Brace yourself. It looks like a local orthodontics office might’ve lost one too many wisdom teeth when it decided to collab with Youngsville Gun Club & Range to provide free weapons with its Invisalign treatments. Pretty sure all the people want is their free toothbrush and a sticker, but whatever. Getting to, ahem, the root of the promotion of violence and good dental hygiene: Qualifying customers can pick between a Silver membership at the Youngsville Gun Club & Range or a complimentary Glock 19, a pistol with a retail value shooting upward of $500. … No cap.
That’s Going to Leave a Mark Uh, oh… the girls are fighting! Former White House Chief of Staff and U.S. Rep. Mark Meadows was charged alongside his former “special friend,” President Trump, with racketeering in connection to their attempt to overthrow the 2020 election. Performing the ultimate bestie betrayal, Meadows agreed to testify against Trump in exchange for immunity, thus leading our former prez to throw out some nasty nicknames—such as “weakling,” “coward” and the like. We hate to see a friend breakup… 💔
Hot Mess Skating Raleigh into the sin bin for the Stadium Series, apparently no one thought of traffic control, as vehicles were at a standstill for hours in front of the game—making for plenty of national attention and internet fodder, with one fan @’ing officials: “Been in traffic line for 2 hours. Not an end in sight. No cops directing traffic. Just an absolute shit show. You should be ashamed of yourselves. @Canes @RaleighGov @NHL fucking embarrassment.” Talk about missing the big shot.
Emu Escapades Paging Dr. Dolittle! In this episode of animals outof control, a long-legged emu, dubbed Kevin, was spotted taking himself for a little stroll—hot girl walk?—along U.S. 64 this summer before being apprehended by Chatham County Animal Control. The bird on the lam comes behind a string of emu disturbances across the state last year. … Stay tuned for more emu-sing news in 2024?
A Rocky Horror You know those dreams where you forget to wear pants to school? This is kind of like that. … After being closed for about a year, the beloved Rialto theater reopened over the summer under new ownership, but frontman Hayes Permar forgot to hire staff for the big reopening. Oops. Luckily, his pals came together to save the day. Wonder if they got paid in popcorn or…?
High Stalks Guess who’s back, back again! After lighting up our list last year by committing arson, our ex-Raleigh City Council wannabe, Zainab Baloch, has once again snagged a spot on our list, this time for stalking. Keeping up with all our crazy exes, the previous political hopeful stalked a man by going to his house, following him to a police station (smart!) and literally ramming into his car. While she was unsuccessful in obtaining a spot in our local government, Baloch sure knows how to behave like a public official! 🔥
Bad Religion When Hozier said “take me to church,” we don’t think this is what he meant. … “Illegal adult entertainment business” G-Loft—which was operating out of a former church near The Ritz—was busted by ALE special agents in April, resulting in seven arrests on 18 criminal charges, including five felonies. Sins—er, charges—included possessing, selling and consuming alcohol without ABC permits—NTM attempting to dodge taxes (!) and maintaining a place for the use/sale of illicit drugs. Think it’s safe to say God would not be thrilled.
Small Dink Energy We see you left your ball (table) at home! A group of NC State students have caused quite the ~racket~ with their landlord after amassing a ~$23,000 fee for refusing to remove their “all-purpose” beer pong table from the premises. Citing the table as “garbage,” the shady squire went as far as paying someone to remove the controversial piece of furniture under the dark of night. While the issue is being, ahem, tabled (translation: they ain’t payin’), one thing is for certain—their security deposit is a goner.
Do What in Durham?! “Do it on a rooftop. Do it all alone… or in a crowd. Do it quietly… or loud and proud.” Nope, not snippets from a lingerie ad or a male ED commercial—but from Discover Durham’s recently launched Do It in Durham ad campaign. To be fair, the “innovative and unconventional” slogan definitely got people talking. So… worth every bit of that $180,000+ price tag—and inevitable snickers every “do it off the beaten path” or “do it with friends” promotion will garner?
Blacked Out This just in: NC State athletics cannot catch a break. Wolfpack Nation blacked out at this season’s home opener when the $15 million scoreboard shorted out due to a lightning strike on the day of its grand debut (#embarrassing). The chances of being hit by lightning are low, but NC State continues to elude the odds—except when it comes to making it to the playoffs. Say it with us… Cardiac Pack!
Please Stop Talking
Sports figures are notorious for flubs, so why should the Triangle’s finest be any different? In 2023, they again teach a master class on why you should think before you speak, while reminding us why they should stick to exercising muscles other than their mouths…
X Not learning his lesson about rivalries in 2022, UNC QB Drake Maye doubled down in 2023 by taking a shot at NC State: “I didn’t want to miss out on the home state… growing up in Carolina, you’re gonna be a Carolina fan. Some people may say State, but really people who go to State just can’t get into Carolina…” As one Twitter (X) reply simply stated in response: “Carolina arrogance.” Classic. Looks like UNC might need to add a course in humility? Your move, Maye.
X Meanwhile, now wrestling his reputation, new UNC wrestling coach Rob Koll is under fire for his pervy statement suggesting the Chapel Hill uni only profiles “pretty” girls for admission: “It’s 60% women for God’s sake and 95% of them are attractive. It’s just a really neat little campus for young 18-to-22-year-old men. I mean, good Lord! Why would you not want to go here?” Um, ew. Did we learn nothing from the U.S. gymnastics scandal?
X Not to be left out, fueled by unexpectedly holding that Tiger in the Textile Bowl, NCSU football coach Dave Doeren rips ex-Panthers standout Steve Smith: “This ain’t a basketball school, he can kiss my ass” in response to Smitty’s spicy comment earlier that day on ESPN College GameDay that NC State was waiting for basketball to start … The internet: “Ice up, Steve.”
And, now, reflect on and relive the spectacular event with us via our recap photo album. Feel free to share any photos on social media—just be sure to tag us (@raleighmagazine)!
Find Raleigh local and bartender extraordinaire Will Bryant creating a slew of good libations at The Parlor at Heights House. NTM the talented ’tender really shook things up with his signature Tequila & Olive Oil cocktail creation at our inaugural The Cocktail Classic, presented by The Exchange, last weekend (!).
But the competition isn’t over yet. … Be sure to vote for your fave for 2023 Bartender of the Year. Voting is open through Dec. 15!
