Say No to Imposter Cappuccinos

Say No to Imposter Cappuccinos

This rant has been lightly edited for style and space and is not endorsed by Raleigh Magazine.

Raleigh, thankfully, is a coffee mecca—brimming with cozy nooks to steep in (my faves include The Optimist and Pine State Coffee). But there’s a small issue percolating on the local coffee scene. A problem brewing beneath the surface, roasting the core of authenticity. … It’s a fraud, it’s a fake, it’s an imposter cappuccino! 

A real cappuccino, brewed lovingly in a local shop, is a very simple work of art. It has three distinct equal layers: an espresso base, milk center and froth top. All layers must be equal to be considered a cappuccino. So a typical 2-oz. double shot of espresso would be topped with an equal 2 oz. of milk and 2 0z. of froth.

Armed with this knowledge, it becomes painfully easy to spot the “imposters.” These imitation cappuccinos can’t hold their own weight—the balance becomes impossible to meet, mainly due to the crazy sizes being thrown at the exhausted consumer with the promise to “wake them up” with something hip and large.

A great rule of thumb to detect these frauds is the size. If a cappuccino comes in any size other than a 6 oz.—maybe an 8 oz.—that is not a cappuccino. The proportions get thrown off to the point that not even girl math can account for it.

Case in point: An 18 oz. (real size in the wild) cappuccino would need 6 oz. of espresso (not too many baristas serve more than 4 ounces), 6 oz. of milk and 6 oz. froth. The pure amount of froth alone would not rest on the drink. The most likely scenario is that the amount of milk is actually greater than the espresso and froth—and that ain’t no cappuccino. It’s its cousin, the latte.

Now don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with lattes. But why lie? Why not just sell the customer a 16-oz. latte and not call it a cappuccino? It begs the question: How are they differentiating these drinks? If one were to order both a 16-oz. latte and a 16-oz. cappuccino, would they be able to tell the difference? My guess is likely not.

So, be careful out there, Raleigh—and don’t be fooled. This cappuccino conundrum must be put to an end.

—Conscientious Cappuccino Consumer

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Rant or Rave: A Heated Opinion

Rant or Rave: A Heated Opinion

A cup of coffee… it’s simple, but nevertheless can make or break your morning. Going to work without it would be a tragedy (never mind the dirty look from your boss when you show up late)—but having the coffee shop get your order wrong? Borderline world-ending. 

Lately, I’ve noticed when ordering a cuppa joe, the question that follows from the barista is often: “hot or cold?” I’m sorry, but pretty sure all coffee is assumed hot unless explicitly stated otherwise. You either order a freshly brewed cup of coffee or an iced coffee or cold brew (I’m not even going to touch on all the fancy macchiatos and such). Did I say “iced”? No. So why in the world am I getting asked this question?!

There is something about that statement too… hot or cold? It’s terribly unelevated! In that same vein, cold is miserable, especially in the wintertime. Don’t even think about asking me if I want a cold drink in the middle of winter. 

I will say, however, I’ll take the brutal cringey question over having the barista make me the wrong drink. I’ll never forget the morning I went to my favorite local coffee shop and politely asked for a plain latte. Moments later, at the other end of the bar, the drink appeared; the barista simply smiled and nodded in my direction. But, alas, it was iced. Day. Ruined. 

—Hot Coffee Snob

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