Ditch the Apps for Relationship Building IRL
IRL socializing is taking over.
Find yourself in Smoky Hollow on Thursdays around 6pm and you’ll discover the modern version of speed dating—emphasis on speed. Raleighites of all backgrounds, from young professionals to working adults, participate in the recently launched run club before looping back to Neighborhood, where they can enjoy live music, a crisp drink and often a pizza pop-up. Wearing color? They’re off the market. But black? They might just be your new “running” partner.
The run club is a recent development by Tyler Helikson, co-owner of Neighborhood and Madre. After chatting with friends about the frustrations of online dating, Helikson, a fitness enthusiast, wanted to create the kind of experience he’d want to join himself. Inspired by similar clubs popping up nationwide, he decided to run with the idea. The first week there were 25 people—the next, there were triple.
The emergence of these clubs highlights a broader shift, both locally and nationally, as people swap going-out shoes for sneakers. Rather than relying on bars or apps, people in the 25–55 age range are opting for run clubs, book clubs, dinner clubs and more as a modern way to build relationships.
Helikson attributes much of this to connection. It takes time to match on an app, establish a good conversational flow and set up a date—only to realize in person that the spark is just not there. Run clubs—and other similar activity-based social get-togethers—allow you to meet like-minded folks organically. “You meet people in the flesh, in the wild, and see if you jive with them in person,” he explains. “I think that’s the only way you can really get to know somebody.”
And this isn’t just the case for people seeking romantic connections. Crank Arm Brewing co-owner/co-founder Adam Eckhardt sees this trend playing out platonically at the brewery’s weekly events, which include everything from bike rides and trivia to dog-walking nights. To him, today’s crowd wants more from their social life. “The current generation is drawn to experiential things,” he says. “People want to go do something.”
Eckhardt also notes that each night draws a lively mix of regulars and newbies, often including those just finding their footing in the area.
Across Raleigh, businesses like these bring people together in their own way. Stonewall Sports hosts LGBTQIA+ community-based sports leagues, while Tri Sports offers a popular kickball league (among other sports). Heights House organizes a Sunday Sauce dinner series along with other social experiences, and Copperline Plants has its own book club and regular plant-themed gatherings. Even vino haven Vita Vite joins in with a book club of its own.
While some still lean on their favorite bars and a right swipe on the apps, this new trend toward meeting IRL is giving a nostalgic nod to the good ole days of socializing. Our grandparents had (and still have) bridge, and the modern generation has pickleball leagues, run clubs and the like. Maybe it’s pandemic-fueled or collective screen fatigue, but today’s crowd is craving—and carving out—real-life relationships, and trading out scrolling for socializing. And Raleighites? They’re all in on the club scene.
