Generational $hift

It’s a Gen A world, and we’re all just livin’ in it.

Forget Gen Z—at least for a moment. There’s another gen hot on everyone’s tongue: Gen Alpha, nee 2010–2024. But, bruh¹, before you scoff and flip the page deeming these 13-and-unders irrelevant, Alpha will be the largest generation ever—thanks to millennial parents—with the most sizable spending power, per Harvard Business Review. 

Kidfluence is real. Lest you forget, it was teen girls who sanctified the Beatles and Elvis (and T Swift for that matter)—and who clearly shape everything from what we eat, wear and stream to how we part our hair. In essence, our veritable cultural cash cow. 

These eco-warrior mini-millennials are tech-empowered (even allowance is digital—and a  1-year-old may one day ask what a credit card is the way your child is now puzzled by the phone book), smart, super-opinionated and equipped with info-aware parents. Enter history’s first marketing-perfect kid-parent pairing. 

Money talks. So the world is listening. With ~2.8 million Gen A’s born weekly across the globe, these socially conscious 2+ billion “upagers²” will also be the best educated and wealthiest ever (a slight that no doubt stings their millennial parents who came up during the Great Recession and 9/11). 

As the universe and metaverse collide, and digital and physical lines blur, the “Great Screen Age” (er, Jetsons Age?) is upon us. For the first “re-generation” born entirely in the 21st century, their world is AI, AR, streaming, planet-hopping, virtual assistants—and instant gratification. Already wielding their power, 4 out of 5 A’s render substantial influence on family spending—and, wait for it—account for $500+ billion in annual purchases.

Alpha is by nature interactive, experiential (think elevating retail spaces with art, music and virtual fitting rooms) and more likely to engage with brands with which they connect deeply. They crave authenticity. And given their social climate—read: pandemic-riddled planet (aka “Gen C”), climate emergency, mental-health crisis—they’re in prime position to affect change. Somewhere the next Karl Lagerfeld is donning biodiverse AR outfits that will rewrite the fashion world as we know it. 

Alphas are activists after all. But they’re still children—and sometimes AFK³. They dig Goldfish crackers (because they’re so delicious). And—brace yourselves—McDonald’s is their top restaurant of choice by far, no doubt thanks in part to the Grimace TikTok trend (*drinks Grimace shake and collapses in puddle of purple*). Talk about a brand for the ages. 

The linchpin? How to communicate with these slang-obsessed digital denizens. We see your generational “groovy,” “bomb,” “epic,” “slay”… and raise you a mad lit⁴ on god⁵ no cap⁶. While every generation’s diction and drip⁷ is derided by those preceding them, “Generation Y-Not” are born language disruptors naturally attuned to digesting a ton of data at once—and whose vibey vocals are built on internet lingo so organic, imposters need not apply. (Fun fact: Savvy businesses see Z as the bridge between Alpha and, well, the rest of us.) 

While you won’t likely meet them on a Zoom or in the boardroom until the early 2030s when they begin to graduate university (giving us plenty of time to try to translate them—#Goated⁸), the eldest A’s will be voting age in the subsequent election (2028). News flash: The future is already here. And it’s probably wearing virtual clothes.

¹ Bruh: Interjection/nickname—could be bro, mom or response to anything
² Upagers: A’s nickname for early physical, social and emotional maturity
³ AFK: Away from keyboard
⁴ Mad lit: Very cool/awesome
⁵ On god: Aka “I swear to God” 
⁶ No cap: No lie
⁷ Drip: Good style or swag
⁸ Goated: Very good at something—a play on GOAT (greatest of all time)

These “screenagers” already comprise a tally of TikTok and YouTube stars (think 8-year-old millionaires like 2019’s top earning YouTuber behind Ryan’s World). Gaming is the new “social network” and e-games are becoming fodder for virtual commerce. YouTube, TikTok, Fortnite, online gaming platform Roblox and VR headset Oculus Rift are leading the charge. To wit, Gucci sold a virtual bag for a hefty tag in Roblox, while Nike launched virtual Air Jordans in Fortnite, and pop princess Ariana Grande held a virtual Fortnite concert.

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