Raleigh Mag is launching a Friday Foodie Newsletter.
Prime your palates! … As your go-to resource on up-to-the-minute foodie news, Raleigh Mag is sating your appetite for more must-read snackable content with the addition of a Friday newsletter, dubbed Dish on This, exclusively dedicated to all things bites & bevs—from breaking foodie news to openings, reveals and updates to chef sneak peeks to where you should be eating and drinking around town right now and more. Essentially, an invite to nosh on veritable Grub Street.
For the past seven years, we’ve been living, eating and breathing everything Raleigh to keep you in-the-know and serve as the authority on living life in this city. From day one, Raleigh Magazine has unveiled more exclusive announcements, chef previews, sneak peaks, insider info and scoops than any other local resource. We have become your go-to for what’s hip, hot and happening in town across our multimedia platforms: print mag, web, newsletter, social channels and podcast.
If you already receive our Raleigh Insider newsletter, first and foremost, thank you for being a valued reader. Further, get excited—we’ve automatically subscribed you for our can’t-miss Friday Dish on This. If you like what you read, we’d love for you to share the scoop with friends and fam who’d dig some Friday fodder to feed on.
Coming out of the gate with a feast, for our premiere newsletter, we’ve gone back for seconds on our exclusive reveal of The Mill by Urban Food Group in Olde Raleigh Village this winter and got the deets on their opening date (spoiler alert: it’s super soon) and more. … Thanks for grabbing a seat at the table with us. Now… dig in!
A decade of dating apps has forever changed the way we pursue relationships.
Left, left… left, right, left. It’s not the military cadence. It’s how thousands while away their days doomscrolling—er, swiping—hoping to find the one (or the one for now) as they navigate through a barrage of would-be mates, bots, catfishes and ghosts.
Enter app life. Last September, Tinder turned 10 (ironically the “tin” anniversary)—and in that decade, Tinder and the cortège of dating apps have completely changed the culture of dating. And, now, for many (myself included), their longest relationship since the advent of the app is with the app itself (happy tin anny!). And while dating has no doubt taken a hit post-pandemic—apps have exponentially catapulted in popularity. Also, for the record, Tinder is by far the most popular pref in the U.S.
It may or may not shock you to learn Raleigh was recently ranked the 9th Worst City to Move to if You Want to Fall in Love for large metros based on an analysis of data from the U.S. Census Bureau against such metrics as gender balance of single adults, divorce rate, food and entertainment businesses per capita, and more. (If you’re looking to up your odds, start California dreamin’—as the top three large metro locales were held by sunny Golden State cities.)
But not all hope is lost. The number of never-marrieds has risen rapidly in recent years—and many of those singles are concentrated in the Southeast. So we took it to the pros and chatted up NC’s resident relationship expert Elizabeth Overstreet. Featured in The New York Times, and on the likes of ABC, CBS, NBC, among others, the Raleigh-based author, motivational speaker and relationship coach—who partners with singles, couples and even companies—is a trusted love and relationship strategist “who keeps things real,” she says, and is known for curating practical roadmaps for happier, more satisfying relationships with others—and yourself.
While the super-modern app life may not be for everyone (can we please just meet organically in the wine aisle… or a bookstore a la Notting Hill!), “if you’re single, don’t despair,” says Overstreet. “It’s not necessarily a bad place to be—and you’re in good company.” In fact, according to Pew Research, 1 in 3 people are single, she notes—and, ahem, those aren’t bad odds. “People are opting to remain single and practice more conscious dating,” she adds. But, if you’re looking to get out there and connect with the right person, Overstreet is here with the tips—including how to meet in the wild. And, for a leg up, we amassed mod dating lingo to help you navigate it all, plus a slew of meet-cute (or meet-repulse) stories and scaries you’re gonna wanna swipe right on.
Most Popular Apps per U.S. Downloads Tinder “Just swipe right” Bumble “Women make the first move” Hinge “Designed to be deleted” Badoo “Date honestly” Grindr “It’s a guy thing” Match “Adults date better” OKCupid “Dating for every single person” eHarmony “Get who gets you” Coffee Meets Bagel “Find something real” happn “Find your crush” Thursday “#OneSingleDay”—Thursdays only, literally (new)
Tips for App Success
Don’t be afraid to put out what you want upfront. It saves you time and energy from aligning with someone who isn’t on the same page. Do you want a committed relationship? Kids? Are you a spiritual person? Animal lover? Dating success hinges on closing doors to people who aren’t on the same page.
Put effort into your profile pictures.Think about the impression you want to make. Love to travel? Highlight that vacay pic. Enjoy community? Show off yourself volunteering. Adrenaline junky? Share those skydiving, scuba diving and snowboarding pics. Profile pics send a subliminal message about who we are and how we show up—this is your chance to shoot your shot and draw in someone who aligns with or complements who you are as a person. Don’t waste your opportunity to shine!
Find the app that fits who you are and what you want. There are tons of apps related to you being spiritual, open or casual in your dating; committed; open to LDRs; and so much more. Bottom line: Fewer apps are more. Choose the dating app that suits what you want to get out of your dating experience!
3 Tips forMeeting People in Real Life
“I get the value of dating apps—it broadens your options and a chance to prescreen people. But don’t forget about meeting people in real life too! Sometimes we are so consumed with getting stuck in one way of doing things that we miss the opportunity to connect with people IRL.” —Elizabeth Overstreet
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. “My mother would always say this—and she was so right. I watched her repeatedly build relationships with even the most difficult people by being kind and thoughtful,” says Overstreet. Translation: Compliments can open lots of doors, especially when it comes to finding love. They should be genuine, thoughtful and even simple. Bonus tip: Men are rarely given a compliment, so when you genuinely provide one, watch what happens.
Ask for help. If you’re at your local grocery store, gym, etc., asking for assistance with a friendly smile and demeanor can be a great way to jump-start conversation. Men love to be helpful. And with the shift in culture—“and while I appreciate feminism,” says Overstreet—this is an often underutilized feminine trait that is still an effective lure.
Do things you like doing. Because when you’re living your best life and enjoying it, that is very attractive. People want to be with people who are happy. When you align with someone in these spaces, it’s a natural connection, and the person on the other side possibly shares a similar interest. Good places to meet people include meetup events, museums, fundraisers, community events, festivals, sporting events, etc.
Profile Faux Pas
Fish pics
Covering your face
Duck faces
Thirst traps
No bio
All group pics
Rant/rage bios
Single-parent shaming
“Why are you still single”
Gym selfies
Lists of demands
Ego
Bathroom selfies
Snapchat filters
Bigotry (obv)
Sexism (obv)
Ex shots
One or no photo(s)
“DTF”
Self-proclaimed F-boys
Date Different
Spice up date night with these unique local date ideas.
Get outside NCMA Park: Park it on the Ellipse lawn or take an artastic stroll.
Quiet convo Vita Vite: Uncork romance over a bottle and some charcuterie.
Go wild Wild Turkey Lounge @ Angus Barn: Leather banquettes and bourbon make first impressions gravy.
Get high The Willard: Take date night to new heights with views for days.
Get Ballsy Sharky’s: Rack ’em up, Buttercup—flirty competition has entered the chat.
Tee it up Drive Shack: Let your date know you can par-tee—loser picks up the tab!
Go underground Foundation: Nothing tells your date you like them like hiding them underground.
Game on Boxcar: It’s giving nostalgic high-school date when mom dropped you off three blocks away.
From success stories to horror stories, we shine a bright light on local dating life
Authentically Ageist and Sexist Too-good-to-be-true date turns south when he asks if she wants kids and shames her for saying yes because “you’re 30!” Matched Bumble First metDos Taquitos, dinner Status Blocked
Second Time’s the Charm First date dud-turned-second date chance-turned-lifer Matched eHarmony First “first date” Wild Wing Cafe, drinks Second “first date” Piedmont, dinner Status Married with 1 kid, 1 dog, 1 cat
Between a Rock and a Hard Place Pitched a doubly dangerous all-day remote rock climb Matched Hinge Ghosted 👻 @ American Tobacco Trail
Pain Med-Head Kittenfish-Turned-Stalker Gaslighting charmer faked an arm injury to justify an opioid addiction and didn’t go gently into the night. Matched Hinge First metNOFO, brunch Status Blocked
Evanga-Dating Seeking a “nice girl,” so literally lied about his religion and made up elaborate fake testimony Matched Hinge First metTwo Roosters, ice cream Status Nope
Creeper Status He “swung by” her workplace to see her through the window before “meeting.” Matched Hinge Status Blocked
Catfish Creep Emotional texter builds relationship then ghosts because the “single dad from Cary” is really a “married woman from South Carolina.” Matched OkCupid Ghosted 👻 @ Paddy O’Beers
Flight Risk Temporary resident not looking to lay down roots or commute—or for a wife, fur child or human child Matched Tinder First metPickled Onion, drinks Status Married with rescue dog and baby
Hookup-Turned-Hubby Two not-looking-for-love lovebirds matched to find they lived on the same private street—and now same home. Matched Tinder First metLynnwood Grill, drinks Status Just married with blended dog fam
Forever Single No More Shy guy with post-30YO first kiss and no serious relationship unearths soulmate. Matched Tinder First metThe Durham Hotel rooftop, drinks Status Married with blended dog fam
Dating Wrapped
Apps are at once full of promise and vapid—period—giving just enough hope to keep you swiping and just enough cringe encounters to keep you nauseous. And it’s a universal experience. So much so that in December, #DatingWrapped—a play on Spotify Wrapped—went viral on TikTok as users shared common dating experiences. Think # of dates, app they met on, $ spent, where they went, random horror stories, number of cries and blocks, kiss captures, who ended things/how, and tips—“I’d rather buy my father lingerie than get back on Facebook dating,” said one viral post. The takeaway: It’s a shared experience—and all swipers were left feeling less loneliness and dread. Worth the dive.
Slide over Espresso Martini, there’s a new spirited harlot in town.
If you’re not having fun with a pornstar, you’re doing it wrong—the cocktail that is. A real hooker, the Pornstar Martini is on the come up. So we decided to hustle in front of the trend and partner with The Haymaker for a mod spin on the harlot-dubbed hooch. Flirting with the OG recipe—essentially a vanilla vodka-meets-passion fruit sitch with a sparkling wine shot—Raleigh Magazine Bartender of the Year nominee Taylor Sullivan did a deep-dive on the sultry sipper and handcrafted his spin, and it promises to, well, ignite your passions.
Originally dubbed by London barman Douglas Ankrah in the early aughts because—legend has it—it seemed like a drink a pornstar would order, the hussy’s star continues to rise. (It doesn’t hurt the tongue-in-cheek ’tail is titillating to utter… “I’ll have the Pornstar…”). “Ankrah’s drink is based on a Maverick Martini he had at Maverick Gentleman Club when he visited South Africa,” says Sullivan. “It’s very much a Blades of Glory situation: ‘I don’t even know what that means.’ … ‘No one knows what it means, but it’s provocative. It gets the people going,’ he jokes, quoting the flick. “The drink is literally only called the Pornstar because he wanted it to be provocative.”
So, for a little sizzle in your nightlife, hop over to The Haymaker this month for a pair of Pornstar selects—one leaning toward the classic with a slight Haymaker twist; and the other, Taylor’s signature twist if you will, a little more, ahem, unkempt—bringing the heat with a slightly spicier version. “The heat doesn’t actually come through in the first sip,” says Sullivan, “but it leaves a very residual heat-feel in your mouth.” How fitting. Both, of course, stay true to the tropical taste, velvety feel and spark of the classic with that prosecco sidecar shooter. Either way, you just can’t go wrong with a pornstar. Cheers!
“And the south wind blew hard on that ragged old flag.” Johnny Cash’s famed lyric well encapsulates a rising movement for a new Raleigh flag—because “a great city deserves a great flag,” naturally. The MO behind the grassroots movement to bring “an iconic flag to Raleigh,” the move is part of a larger wave across the nation for cities to make their flags relevant—and hangworthy.
Why? Flashback to a 2015 TedTalk on “why city flags may be the ugliest thing you’ve never noticed.” Side note: Raise your hand if you knew Raleigh had a flag. Many of the smart, seasoned natives I polled did not. And, aye, there’s the rub.
For reference, the two-sided original—est. in 1899 and sewed by Kate Denson (for the trivia buffs)—shows, on one side, an oak tree surrounded by oak leaves and acorns with the words “City of Raleigh North Carolina, Established 1792.” On the reverse, an antlered deer upon a red-and-silver twisted tress sits atop a section of Sir Walter Raleigh’s coat of arms, imagined as a red shield intersected by connecting silver “diamonds” above the words “Amore et Virtue” (or, in English, “By Love and Valor”). Sounds simple, right?
The details are too complex and difficult to produce, explains Brian Rineer, one of the Raleighites leading the charge, who emphasized the updated eye-catching emblem’s simplicity and relevance, while retaining the essence of the historic flag. A flag, at its core, is an emblem that provides a sense of identity—a unifying symbol, a visual expression of civic pride. The new flag, which sports those five diamonds in a simplified iconic Raleigh acorn design, “doesn’t completely turn its back on the past—but pays homage to the past, while also moving the city forward, just as the city has moved forward over the years,” says Raleighite Joanne Sullivan, who first saw the revamped flag flying in the wild at neighbor Roland Kays’ abode and thought, ‘This is really a cool flag.’ … There’s something about the red and the big acorn—it doesn’t take itself too seriously.”
Well connected—think campaign volunteering and serving on the Raleigh Arts Commission and Parks and Rec Bond initiative, etc.—Sullivan has since been instrumental in elevating the status of the flag and getting the word out in the community by providing connectivity (businesses, elected officials…).
“It represents Raleigh in a very joyful way,” she adds. “It’s not stodgy. It’s very catchy. … You have the acorn. You have the shoutout to Sir Walter Raleigh with the crest. I think it’s something every generation can identify with—and see something and feel connected to. It does a great job representing Raleigh.”
For the record, this isn’t the first attempt to reno the Raleigh flag. Arguably never widely adopted, the 120-plus-year-old flag’s potential new design was a hot topic some six-ish years ago when residents called for an upgraded emblem to better rep Raleigh, with ideas flying about Twitter and Reddit—and as a matter of City Council discussion—to no end. Fast-forward to idle time and brilliant minds a la pandemic, and a group of residents resolved to revive the initiative, hence the New Raleigh Flag campaign. And—so far—as the bottom-up convo continues, no snubs yet.
What happens next is anyone’s guess—but for now: “It’s a great symbol,” says Sullivan. “It’s very distinct. Whether official or unofficial, it does a great job representing and celebrating our city.” newraleighflag.com
Transplants, babies and grads create a Raleigh population tidal wave.
We know. You want to keep Raleigh our little secret. But clearly the secret is out—about as obvious as rain is wet or TikTok can access all your data or The Last of Us is must-see TV.
And going worldwide like DJ Khaled—“we global”… with the City of Oaks having also previously earned rank as the No. 2 Best City for Quality of Life in the World. … Ergo—people are moving here in droves (understatement) and the population is surging (babies! grads!).
According to the latest data, 70+ transplants make Raleigh their home each day. And beyond newbies, “poppin’ bottles” takes on new meaning as Wake County locals give birth to two full kindergarten classes on the daily(!). So, while the U.S. birth rate has hit record lows, Raleigh’s remains on the rise. Add to that local college grads laying down roots and, well, many are left debating how much room will soon be left in Raleigh.
