Are Dining Rules Dead?

Manners, shmanners. From elbows to entrees, we put Miss Manners’ most (in)famous dining decrees through the generational gauntlet—because what flies with X might make Z roll their eyes (and we know millennials hate napkins). So, from phones at the table to who orders first, we asked: Are these “rules” still relevant—or just relics of a stuffier time?

Don’t start eating until everyone is served.

Xennial: Yes—because nothing says ‘you’re not worth waiting for’ louder. 
Millennial: I feel just as weird eating first as when everyone else does. Wait, please!
Gen Z: Don’t—but a good restaurant/host should serve everyone at the same time.

Chew with your mouth closed—and don’t talk with food in it.

Xennial: Hard yes—no one wants dinner and a horror show.
Millennial: You should’ve been taught this when you were little—if you’re still talking with your mouth full of food, just don’t talk to me at all.
Gen Z: No. 1 rule in my household. We should never see the food you’ve eaten once it goes in your mouth. Ew.

Don’t double-dip.

Gen X: NEVER!!!
Xennial: Depends. How close are we—and is
it queso?
Xennial: If it’s the side that wasn’t bitten into, it’s OK.
Gen Z: With close friends and family, fine. At a dinner party, no. And NEVER if you have a cold.

Put a napkin on your lap immediately after sitting.

Gen X: Yes.
Xennial: It’s muscle memory at this point—but not a felony if you forget.
Millennial: I usually wait until the food has arrived.
Gen Z: At a restaurant, yes. At home, it’s rare.

Always tip your server (20% is the new 15%).

Gen X: Yes—and if service is great, more.
Xennial: 20% is the new baseline—think of it as the cost of showing up. Good service? 25–30%, minimum.
Millennial: Always tip unless they are absolutely horrendous, and in that case I’ll still probably tip 10–15%. But not on takeout.
Gen Z: ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS!!
Gen Z: 20% minimum no matter what!! Extra if they’re exceptional.

Never use your phone at the table.

Gen X: I use it.
Xennial: Dude, if you wanna scroll, stay on your couch.
Gen Z: There are exceptions (like if it’s relevant to the convo),  but never scroll or take a call.

Host should order first.

Gen X: I usually order in the order the server asks.
Xennial: Nice, but not always necessary.
Xennial: What is this, 1942?
Millennial: Doesn’t matter.
Gen Z: Never even heard of this.

Don’t salt food before tasting it.

Gen X: I usually don’t, but it’s not because I think it’s bad manners.
Xennial: Makes sense I guess‍
Millennial: That’s just poor taste—and rude. How do you know it even needs salt if you don’t try it first!
Gen Z: We always add more salt before tasting in my family!

No elbows on the table.

Gen X: Depends on the dinner/guests.
Xennial: Hard-wired from formative years of ‘Get your elbows off the table! This is not a horse’s stable!’ trauma—and still need therapy.
Millennial: I’ve never once thought about it being cringe.
Gen Z: Forearms are fine, elbows are not.

If a drink is empty, offer to refill it.

Gen X: If I am the host, absolutely.
Xennial: Yes, unless it’s wine and they have drunk too much already.
Millennial + Gen Z: If I’m getting up, but otherwise I probably wouldn’t.

Use utensils from outside in.

Gen X:  I don’t really think about it.
Xennial: Refuse to learn this—it’s giving ‘tell me you’re pretentious’ energy.
Millennial: I’m rarely going where this is a thing, but even if,  I highly doubt I paid attention.
Gen Z: Always.
Gen Z: This is for rich people—and I’m definitely not that.

The man should order for the woman.

Gen X: Ha! He can order for her if she has to step away and she can tell him what to order.
Xennial: What is this, the Handmaid’s date? She should straight walk out.
Millennial: Not unless you want him to!
Gen Z: NOPE!!!! Ew.
Gen Z: I would never trust a man to order for a woman.

Ladies should never order a steak or cocktail on a first date.

Gen X: Ladies should eat whatever they want.
Xennial: Should they also only speak when spoken to?
Millennial: Why not?!
Gen Z:  Salads are overrated. Order a filet and dirty martini.

Never refuse a dish.

Gen X: If you don’t want it, don’t eat it.
Xennial: That tracks—refusing does feel rude.
Millennial: If you don’t think you’ll like it or aren’t hungry, I don’t see why you can’t refuse.
Gen Z: I’ll try it, but I’m not eating it if I don’t like it.

Never finish your entire plate—it looks greedy.

Gen X: If you finish less than half, it makes it look like you don’t like it. And why finish all but a small portion?
Xennial: Wait—I thought the Clean Plate Club was cool?
Millennial + Gen Z: I will be finishing my plate and maybe yours too!

Always let the waiter pour wine and taste it before anyone else does.

Gen X: I would let the person who knows the most about wine taste it.
Millennial: The waiter can pour my wine, I don’t care—it’s their job, right?
Gen Z: Yes, or whoever is footing the bill.
Gen Z: Is this a thing?

Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu if someone else  is paying.

Gen X: I wouldn’t, and if it’s something I really want, I would offer to cover my portion.
Xennial: Yes, should be in line with what the host is ordering.
Millennial: Not cool, unless it’s like a super-rich uncle or something.